Yes, one is not making this up at all. It is published in the Government of Uganda (GOU) owned national daily – The New Vision. The pornography detection machine (yes, one is not making this up) priced at 2.6 billion shillings is to be imported through a South Korean Company.

Apparently, the pornography detection machine will aid the GOU in implementing the anti-pornography law. The anti-pornography committee has already been appointed – one cannot help but wonder about their expertise that determined their appointment on the committee. Eeeeeh mmmmm things are not easy.

It you are like one who wondered what the pornography machine will do, here is the answer.

It will detect porn pictures, videos or graphics taken or saved on one’s phone, computer or camera in any form.

Eeeeeh wowe! It seems the invasion of one’s privacy and the removal of one’s freedom to enjoy adulthood within the borders of Uganda is now totally complete.

One can only imagine the proceedings of the pornography committee – reviewing all that data which the pornography machine will have detected. Pardon one, but the question needs to be asked, who in this case really needs to be under watch and preferably by professionals in a certain kind of institution?

Yes, if you are wondering what the data that the pornography machine detects shall be used for other than the viewing pleasure of the pornography committee here is the answer. Apparently, it is to be used to prove guilt of those who violate the anti-pornography law which stipulates as follows (source The New Vision):

A person shall not produce traffic in, publish, broadcast, procure, import, export, sell or abet any form of pornography. A person who produces or participates in production of, traffics in, publishes, broadcasts, procures, import, exports or in any way abets pornography commits an offence and is liable, on conviction, to a fine not exceeding five hundred currency points or imprisonment not exceeding 10 years or both.

As one wonders about the businesses that will be affected by this ‘participants-need-institutionalised-supervision’ situation, one finds it ironic that the pornography machine in essence violates the very law for which it is being procured to enforce.

As in the machine will be directing the committee and all the technical experts who will man it towards pornographic material and thus abetting the viewing of pornographic material; and at their discretion the committee will publish the ones that they liked the most as evidence in a court of law, kind of thing, one thinks anyway.

One admits stymied …