Dr. Matembe congratulates her little sister Nkwanzi, the bride, during her final marriage ceremony.
Dr. Miriam Matembe (PhD) is world famous for her directness and vigour, as an academic, activist and public servant. She is known not to mince her words. She calls a spade a spade, so to speak. She acknowledges this as her brand.
I had the privilege of being a guest at a series of marriage ceremonies in which Dr. Matebe spoke advice to her ‘little sister’ Marianne Nkwanzi, whom she let us know is often likened to her, the big sister, character wise.
Dr. Matembe, shared she was 48 years in marriage and her marriage was still going strong. Albeit she and her husband being of different personalities, they are a harmonious couple, she said.
With humour, Dr. Matembe shared how she, whose clan totem is ente (cow), is married to her husband, Mr. Nekemiah Matembe, whose clan totem is engo (leopard).
Coincidentally, Nkwanzi, Dr. Matembe’s ‘little sister’ and her husband Oscar Thomas Kalyango are paired similarly – she is of ente and he is of engo.
Dr. Matembe shared how come longevity of her marriage, she of ente, and he, of engo. They have made it a priority to understand each other and to tolerate each other as they are, she said.
Dr. Matembe’s speech and her interpretation of Eve and the forbidden fruit story emphasized the role and responsibility of a husband.
The central logic of her message being a husband must take responsibility for his own actions and not simply blame his wife.
Dr. Matembe, seemingly, wanted to highlight the importance of a husband being the protector of his wife, of his home and of his family.
It is his duty and responsibility not to let outsiders, physically, or in word, or in spirit, to gain access to his wife, to his home and his family, so as to negatively influence them.
But, if and when it happens, Dr. Matembe’s cautionary message to the husband is do not blame your wife 100 percent.
As a husband, you do bear some responsibility. Your failings, as a husband, allow the serpent to gain access. And when it does gain access, you go along with it, instead of rebuking its evil. Dr. Matebe said.
The essence of Dr. Matembe’s message, husband and wife are together in the journey of marriage. A journey fraught with highs and lows; successes and challenges; strength in spirit and weakness in spirit, etc.
At the final marriage ceremony of the couple, Nkwanzi and Kalyanago, Dr. Matembe referred back to her message at Nkwanzi’s muhingiro and used it to advise the newly weds to:
- Be understanding of each other
- Love each other unconditionally
- Give peace to each other
- Support each other
What a great way for Mr. and Mrs. Kalyango to formally start their marriage. With great words of wisdom from she who knows what she is talking about and is successfully living what she advises.
Mr. Oscar Thomas Kalyango and Mrs. Marianne Nkwanzi Kalyango
And what a fabulously refreshing perspective of the Eve and Adam Bible story. Dr. Matembe effectively interrogated that which is often taken as a given – it is the fault of woman that man committed “the original sin.”
Where was Adam?
Where was Adam when the snake was tempting Eve? Where was Adam when the snake gained access to Eve? Why did Adam not stop from sinning by refusing to take a bite of the forbidden fruit? Why did Adam accept the temptation and not rebuke the evil? These are some of the questions that were asked by Hon. Matembe (PhD), during her speech at Nkwanzi’s muhingiro. “The Old Testament tells of Adam and Eve, our progenitors. They lived in paradise in total innocence until the serpent (the devil) enticed them to eat the forbidden fruit from the tree of knowledge. As punishment for their disobedience, God banished them from Paradise. Genesis Chapter 3 of the Bible recounts the story of Adam, the first man God created, and the woman God formed from one of Adam’s ribs. They lived piously in the Garden of Eden until the serpent, craftier than the other animals, led the woman into temptation … Since the woman sought wisdom, she ate the fruit of the tree, and gave some to Adam to eat too. “Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked.”” Alimentarium, Eve and the Forbidden Fruit
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