Humanist

Daily writing prompt

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

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Since my papa rested in November 2020, I learnt the hard way that I have to find a way to prioritize me and to make decisions for me. Yes, it dawned on me that he who protected me – from people and situations is physically rested.

Among the hardest first steps was accepting that some with whom we may share DNA that papa trusted and I trusted too were all along waiting for papa to rest, so they could exert revenge on him via me, whom he loved.

Taking and accepting that blow has enabled me to cut them off as much as I can. We may share DNA and clan lineage, but that is as far as the connection goes. I now fully embrace the wisdom in a line I picked from the series “The Fosters”:

“DNA does not make family, love does.“

Cleaning out those with whom I may share DNA, but don’t share reciprocal love, has made room for those with whom I share reciprocal love, including those I don’t share DNA and therefore who make my family.

I am learning more to listen to my inner voice, intuition some call it. I am no longer quick to be dismissive of warnings by others for me to pay attention to certain ‘off-things’ about ‘loved ones’.

In retrospect, if I had listened and been more open to warnings, I would not have ended up where I am now. But I take the silver lining. It was what I needed and has facilitated my being at peace now.

I give due credit to the conversations about mental health that I have had with others in mutual support gatherings. At the Audacious Women’s Business Accelerator, for example, I learnt about triggers.

These days, I am more concerned about getting rid of triggers from my spaces. That voice and other sounds that trigger you. That scent and or environment that triggers you. Learnt to either avoid it or to master and defuse it as a trigger.

And on the other hand, learning the triggers for happiness. Start the day, with a short exercise and meditative session of body stretches. Listen to my favorite radio programs or music. Make and savor a cup of coffee. Read and blog.

The decision to concern myself with whom I let into my inner circle and spaces has truly put me in a better place. It is still a journey, but happier I am.